


Lost and found.

by Synns



Series: Shielded Hearts [1]
Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Dom/sub, F/M, M/M, Soul Bond, Soulmates, slight AU, slight Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synns/pseuds/Synns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>EDIT: temporary hiatus, sorry guys</p><p>Shortly after being defrosted Steve Rogers wakes up to a new time, finding that as much as things have changed they have also stayed the same leaving him with a cloud of haze trying to figure him self out once more. Around the same time Tony Stark finds that things are starting to seem different around him as well. Set in a world of Dom's, Subs and genetic soul mates what does this mean?</p><p>warning being written for Nanowrimo 2012</p><p>NOT BETA'D! i understand that there are grammar mistakes in this. that's what the nanowrimo statement is about. my beta is moving to a new place right now and as such i apologize. I'm trying to work on getting a new beta for the time being. i thank you in advance for you consideration</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys so here are a few heads up with this story.
> 
> one: yes it is set in a dom/sub vers, so if there is any confusion, please don't be. it's there trust me. it just gets to it slowly. also the dom/sub vers will most likely be based off of my own interactions with my own sub (yes i'm a dom.) and as such my views are well....my own views and exsperances with other subs and doms (most of my friends are subs as well...odd)
> 
> two: there is a soul mates element as well as a soul bond. i like them, meh
> 
> three: EVENTUALLY there will be some aspect of alpha/beta/omega in the story. not saying what just yet, as it is not the major focus of my story
> 
> four: the first....two? or so chapters may be a little slow as it's a set up for the two main characters in the story (steve/tony). the chapters will likely grow in size as the story moves on. 
> 
> and finally:
> 
> this story is being writen as my nanowrimo entery. yes i intend for it to be part of a serise but as this is for nanowrimo, this story will be updated often. ooooffffttteeeennnnn....lol simply because i'm working on getting at least 50k this month in the story why not post it. 
> 
> warning: so far this isn't beta read. as my sub is in the middle of moving. i miss her.

Seventy years.

Seventy years. That was how long Steve had been asleep. Seventy long and slow years. The world around his frozen resting place had turned and moved on from his memories from the past. Things had changed and yet stayed the same.

There were still doms and subs. People couldn’t really change genetics no matter how much they tried and wanted to believe that. Of course there were some that came close.

There were whispers of a doctor that had altered himself while in search of the concoction flowing through Steve’s very veins: the super solider serum, the curse and blessing of Steve’s life. In the end the poor doctor had an unfortunate accident and while he managed to change some things about himself he was still a sub. He’d started out his experiment as a sub and finished his experiment as one. The rumors went on to say that he had been able to do what he did because he had no dom.

That was another thing that had changed. Back in the forties people had liked to wait for their dom or sub – the one that made them want to melt and just be there forever – their soul mate. Now while all people didn’t go for that, it wasn’t like that was the only thing that they would do. If they found a dom or sub that they cared for, they could wind up with them, but chances were that they would most likely end up with their mate. Nowadays it didn’t really seem to matter if you were a dom or a sub or even if you met your mate. People just wound up with whomever.

It was all new and odd to Steve.

What’s more was that there was something Steve felt like he was forgetting.

Steve stared blankly in front of him. The very white walls of the compound he was in were starting to get to him. The sterile and much too chemical smell that was often associated with hospitals assaulted the super soldier’s senses, making his nose itch.

A funny thought occurred to Steve as he realized this. The scent that hung in the air should have been a comforting one to him. The only reason that this train of thought played out in his mind was that between Steve’s own mother and his own experiences in the hospital back in the forties, this shouldn’t have been such a frightening experience to him.

But at the same time he realized that it wasn’t such a comforting thought. Sure, Steve remembered going in on the weekends to stay at the nurse’s station while his mother was alive, watching her work when he wasn’t staying in the children’s ward sick with something. That was the thing: while he was sick and his mother was alive, Steve had been able to be visited by her in the hospital while she worked. After her death, Steve’s stays in the hospital were less warm. Most of the time they were cold and lonely as the orphanage couldn’t do more than keep him in the sick ward of the boy’s home.

The only shining light had been that Bucky would visit. Even after finding his sub, Bucky AND his sub would visit Steve. That much he could remember. Even with getting the super solider serum the scent lingered in the underground lab.

Steve also wasn’t sure if his uneasiness was also because of the fact that hospitals had changed as well in the seventy years that he had been asleep. Whiter, simultaneously less human in a way, but also more human due mostly to the help of the nurses and the candy stripers.

But at this time Steve was thankful when he realized that he wasn’t even in a real hospital, but rather the medical center in a different compound. Steve wasn’t sure if he could handle being in a real hospital right now due to the fact that it would be a lurking memory of his past – a true reminder of what had changed for him in an odd way. It would bring what the solider had lost to the forefront of his mind: his mother, his childhood, his best friend, and lastly himself.

Or it would be even more of a grueling reminder that the world had changed around him. That Steve had been asleep in a hunk of ice not even two weeks ago.

Steve had been frozen in a hunk of ice not even two weeks ago.

Steve had woken up from his ice-induced sleep that he was in four hours ago.

He had ran from the world he had woken up in and into a new and scary world three and a half hours ago.

His world had fallen apart and crumbled three hours ago.

Steve had been brought back to the compound two hours ago.

He had been guided to the room he was now sitting in one hour ago.

And now the brass of S.H.I.E.L.D. was sitting in a conference room trying to decide what to do with the great Captain America while said captain was sitting on a too small bed, racking his brain and trying to figure out what he had forgotten.

It was like a smoggy and unwanted cloud had rolled over his mind. It was something that the doctors said could happen. And he wasn’t sure he was very comfortable with it going on.

“Captain, how are you holding up right now?”

Steve turned to the sound of the voice. It was the man who had been there when they – no, when S.H.I.E.L.D. had gone and picked him up after his escape. The man seemed decent enough, but that was it. He seemed decent.

Steve wasn’t sure if he could truly trust this man in front of him. Though Steve had to admit that he was one of the few who wasn’t in awe of the now legendary super solider.

Steve laughed as he in turn began to reply to the dom in front of him. At least Steve thought the man was a dom. Who knew? While the subs Steve knew were never meek, they worked hard and proved that they were just as good as any dom. He couldn’t help but feel like that there was always something more to them.

He spoke calmly, almost as if he himself didn’t believe his own words. “Oh, you know… I’m doing as well as anyone can do once they realize that their whole world has fallen apart on them. That everyone they knew and loved has moved on or died and they weren’t there to see it. Pretty much like the war I suppose. So I would have to say…I’m holding on.”

Steve hated it. He wanted to scream and shout and say that he wanted to go home. Go back to what he had, but he knew that it was impossible. Instead Steve just turned to Fury and looked him dead in the eye while he asked what had been on his mind since he woke up and found out what had happened. “What now, sir?”

Fury raised his eyebrow at Steve in a curious manner. Softly, the colonel sat down on the bed beside the lost-looking blond. He was about to answer when Steve continued:

“What do I do now? I’m lost…I’m all alone. Every one that I knew – my friends, the men that I commanded during the war. They’re all gone now. I have nothing left but what? My shield now?”

Steve let out a condescending laugh. His shield, his cowl. All he had left was Captain America and, really, he wasn’t even sure if the world needed that anymore. There were no wars that he knew of to fight in, and with all the advances that the world had made, would they even need him anymore?

Fury nodded as he let Steve continue on with his rant. He could see where the man was coming from. He tried to put himself in the man’s shoes. If he were in the same position, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. All Fury did know is that if he were in the same position he would try and forge forward, saying to hell with the world.

Nodding, the leader of S.H.I.E.L.D. spoke, “I can’t tell you what to do. That’s up to you, solider. What I can tell you is that S.H.I.E.L.D. is willing to help you in any way that it can. Now, the brass will probably come to you saying that we need Captain America and that they need you to start right away. But what I am going to tell you should stay between the two of us.

“Take some time to yourself. Do what you wanted to do after the war. Whether that’s to go to art school or just sit on the couch…trust me that you can afford it, Steve. But take some time to yourself. As much as you can. Once it’s gone and you’re back to being what you were, I can’t promise you that you’ll get that freedom again.

“Hell, find yourself a nice sub and settle down for a bit.”

Steve let out a shallow laugh at Fury’s words. Find a nice sub and settle down; that’s what he’d always heard when he was in the orphanage. Despite his appearance before the serum, Steve had always been a dom. He’d just looked like a sub, and it had killed him when people looked down on him because of it. That was why many people thought the serum could change one’s base genetics.

They would all say, “Look at what it did to the ‘sub’ that went in to the machine in the first place.” But really, that wasn’t the true case.

But furthermore, when Steve was playing though the words in his head, that fog started to get thicker. Sub…something about a sub. Did he finally have a sub? Did he find his mate?

The super solider couldn’t remember. The cloud of thick disorienting nothingness was keeping his memories from him. Was this because he had been frozen? Had he lost memories because of it?

Steve wasn’t even sure that was possible. From what he remembered of the serum he – well – his memories should have been safe. The only way his memories could have been altered was if he had found his sub and if something had happened to his sub. That would be the only explanation.

Steve placed his head in to his hands and sighed before speaking up to Fury once more. “I…I think I already have a sub…and that they’re hurt.”


	2. Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a very interesting man....with a some what sad past. his thoughts and feeling on his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i'm sorry if this seems like an odd chapter. i know it's short (and shorter than the first) but don't worry they will be getting longer...and better i hope.

Tony Stark was an interesting person in any capacity. He was the son of one of the world’s top engineers and inventors – a man who had helped the United States win the second world war before going on and becoming the top weapons manufacturer of the United States.

Tony was also a genius and one of the top engineers of his own time, something that made him proud. But it was not because he felt his father would be proud that his son was following in his own footsteps, but rather that he was proving that he was in fact better than his own father at what they both did for the world.

Tony wasn’t that fond of his father’s memory. The man was cold and distant and always at work and away from his own family. Tony couldn’t even remember a time when his own father had said he was proud of his son. The son of Howard Stark wasn’t even sure if he should count the time that his father had said that he was proud of him on the video reel that had helped lead him to the rediscovery of vibranium, which was keeping him alive.

That was another reason that Tony was an interesting person. He had an arc reactor in his chest that was keeping him alive. In his chest sat the piece of metal that was keeping his life going. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of it per se, but Tony wasn’t fond about the fact that he had a bunch of shrapnel trying to inch into his heart to kill him. He rather liked being alive despite the fact that he had a bit of a sad and lonely life when he was out of the spotlight.

The last reason that Tony was an interesting person was because of the fact that Tony was a sub. He was the sub child of Howard and Maria Stark. And if that wasn’t bad enough, many people tried to take advantage of that. The board, Obi, and even the military at some point had tried to use it against him.

The only true solace that Tony had was that S.H.I.E.L.D., Rhodey, and Pepper had never once tried to use it against him. Even though Fury was a dom he still had great respect for subs. Apparently one of the men on his team back when he had fought in the wars was a sub, and he was one of the best men on that team. Fury, despite being a lying bastard, judged people based off of their actions and not their genders.

Rhodey had been his friend since MIT and knew that despite being a sub, Tony was crazier than any dom the man had ever come across. He had seen Tony prove that when the fifteen year old drove a brand new BMW into the MIT swimming pool during a team practice to do “research”.

Now Pepper, his lovely, lovely Pepper. She was a dom who didn’t let her genetics stop her from doing what she did. The fact that she was the personal assistant for a sub didn’t grate on her nerves in the way many thought that it would. Plus, she didn’t really care. She just worked for him and was there for him as a friend. And in time Tony handed the position of CEO over to Pepper. Not because she was a dom, but rather because he was scared for his own health and cared about both things deeply.

She was doing her best to keep the company together and was doing a good job of it. As such Tony felt that he was doing the right thing. In addition to all of this, Tony felt himself slowly falling in love with the strawberry-haired dom. They had been slowly getting closer and closer to each other, and it so happened that Tony had wound up engaged to Pepper. He liked to joke that he knew that it would have happened eventually, but Tony still couldn’t help but think that something was missing.

There was an odd feeling in his chest that he knew wasn’t coming from the arc reactor.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that Pepper wasn’t Tony’s soul mate. He knew that she wasn’t his soul mate. He never had felt that…ping of contentment that was often talked about when one talks about meeting their soul mate.

The thing was that while Tony didn’t feel it for Pepper – the feeling of being whole…of knowing that there was someone out there for you, waiting to hold you and be there for you, a person that would be there for you when you wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, someone who always had your back – Tony had that feeling. It was a little broken, but he had that feeling and he didn’t ever want to let that go.

And that feeling scared Tony because to him that was a sign telling him that even if he was engaged to Pepper, he was not meant to be with her. There would be someone who would come in and take all of that away from him. Who would take Tony away from Pepper.

The feeling was stranger still as not only was Tony sure that he couldn’t ever remember meeting a person like that, but the overall feeling was broken. Like it was there but not. Not even three weeks ago Tony felt that the – well, the connection (for lack of a better term) was broken. But two weeks ago it felt as though it was being repaired and fixed. Yet it still wasn’t complete.

Then again Tony imagined that the feelings he was having were what everyone felt. One of the few good memories that he had of his father was sitting down with him one day, the older man oddly holding him close and talking to him about the connection he’d once had.

He’d described how full and loving it had once felt. Like he was truly connected with the other half of his soul. But how over time that feeling had slowly deteriorated until it completely shattered. At the time Tony had been only about five and he remembered vaguely asking if his Papa was okay, which caused his sub father to cry even more, the older man sobbing that his Papa wasn’t there anymore.

When Howard had said that, Tony, who was one of the smartest children that the world had seen at that point, was very confused. Why was his Papa not there anymore? Howard was right in front of him, holding him, hugging him close. Why would his Papa not want to be with him?

Tony thought that he had done something wrong. Why else would Howard say that to him? At least that was what Obi had told him it meant when the young sub asked the older dom about it.

Obi had also said that his mother Maria wasn’t fond of her child, and not because of the fact that Tony had been born a sub. Oh no. Maria Stark was happy even though Tony had been born a sub. No, it was the way that Tony was acting, not caring that he was a sub and acting like all the other little dom boys that had her upset with her son. All she wanted was for Tony to act according his station. And when Tony had tried to point out to his own mother that his father Howard was the owner and chief engineer of Stark Industries, Maria had made a face like she had something disgusting under her nose. Tony then decided that he didn’t like that look on his mother’s face one bit.

After his parents had passed away, Tony had Obi as his guardian. As such Obi had taken over running the company until Tony came of age. As a result, he’d started to lay the groundwork of what Stark Industries would become.

But what Tony did not realize was that prior to his father’s death, Howard had steadily been trying to get out of the warmongering business. It was also shortly before this time that Obi had started to shape Tony to how he wanted him to be.

So yes. Tony Stark was a very, very interesting man.

If only he knew what would be in store for him in the coming weeks and what had happened to him in the past. Then all of the trouble that was about to begin could so easily be avoided.

But anyone who had met Tony would be able to tell you – besides the fact that he was indeed a very interesting person – that he was stubborn. So if you were to warn him…all the person would receive in answer would have been a simple “What’s the worst that could happen?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and i hope to hear from you soon


	3. A normal morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a little look into the morning of tony and steve, slowly getting the gang together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also I want to send a huge thank you and lots of love to my beta inukagome15 I'm giving you internet cookies for putting up with my poor nano-non editing. I promise things will be better with its over

It had been almost a month since Steve had awoken from his seventy years on ice. Other than the incident from when he had first awoken and fled from the observation of the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility in which he had woken, Steve had a relatively quiet time to try and adjust to the current world he was living in. So far the organization was doing exactly what Fury had promised Steve that they would do much to the man’s surprise. To date Steve had not only been given a new and somewhat modern apartment, but he had also been given access to his back pay and they had been helping Steve with finding his way back into school. Art school to be precise – happily for Steve, but sadly for the brass of S.H.I.E.L.D.  
But still Steve couldn’t help but feel like he was going to be indebted to the organization and that it would in fact come back to bite him in the ass. Yet as it was, Steve went about his day to day activities, trying to keep himself occupied until the time came that he knew he would be called upon to help with something that only Captain America would be able to handle. To Steve that scenario was inevitable.  
The day for Steve had started as it normally did with a trip towards a small café near the university that he had come to fall in love with. Sitting down and ordering a cup of coffee, Steve pulled out a pen and a small pocket sketchbook. He didn’t have any classes today, but just felt that mostly almost normal need that he had gotten used to that told him to explore the city.  
So much had changed over the years.  
As his waitress came over to refill his coffee, Steve let out a small smile as the blonde domme who always seemed to serve him started to talk with him. It never seemed to stop amazing him about how present society viewed the gender of others. Back in the ’40s, even a domme wouldn’t have had this job. They’d probably be working in a government office or a school. But then again, when Steve had met Maria Hill he had never expected the brunette second-in-command to Fury to be a sub. Steve had never met one in a position that high up. If it had been the ’40s, she would have been a secretary at best if she were to work for the same organization.  
In the past the only sub that had shattered the norm’s view on gender was Howard. Steve smiled lightly as he thought of his old friend. If only he could see what the world had become now; Howard would have been amazed.  
Howard.  
Steve closed his eyes and swallowed as he tried to ease away the memories of his old friend. It was as this was going on that he felt the uncomfortable fog start to creep across his mind – trying to cloud the memories that Steve did have and causing the dom to growl.  
The unexpected sound caused the waitress to suddenly stammer and begin explaining what she had been talking about before: Iron Man. “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that a lot of people come here to see Iron Man fly by. It’s amazing what Tony Stark did, isn’t? I mean he was already amazing with the whole continuing with his dad’s company after his death despite being a sub but to make that suit and fighting all sorts of people while being a sub? If he was my sub I’d lock him up to keep him safe… So what about you? What’s your domme like?”  
Steve looked up at the girl. Domme? What domme? He didn’t have one, never had one. Steve was a dom.  
He blinked in surprise as he replied to her, “I don’t have one. I’m a dom.”  
At Steve’s answer the waitress blushed and started to stammer in surprise and mortification. She explained how sorry she was for assuming that Steve was in fact a sub.  
That was only further proof that the world had changed as he slept.  
Steve simply smiled towards the domme and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. That happens a lot. There’s no need to get upset. I should probably get going. You need the table, right?” the dimples in Steve’s cheeks showed as his confused smile widened towards the other.  
The waitress blushed and stammered even more. “I-it’s okay. There isn’t anyone waiting so you can use it as long as you would like, sir. And if you’d like, we have free wireless.”  
“…Radio?”  
The waitress blushed even more and left, heading towards another customer with a small smile on her face.  
Steve continued to look at her as his confusion deepened, barely listening as an elderly man commented about how he was a bit of a moron. With a sigh, Steve paid for his coffee and got up to leave the table so he could continue with his excursion into Brooklyn as was planned for the day.

A few blocks away, Tony smiled as he went over the plans of the new Stark Tower. Almost giddy with anticipation, working on his new building was helping keep Tony’s mind off of the odd feeling growing within his soul. Flipping through some papers, he smiled as he made some adjustments.  
This…this was going to be his legacy.  
“Aren’t you all smiles and sunshine today. Is there anything that I need to be aware of, Tony? Anybody going to pop out of nowhere today?”  
Tony’s head popped up as Pepper walked into the main common room in the residential part of the tower. Smiling at the domme, Tony stopped what he was doing and practically skipped into her arms. Pepper was truly one of the few people who Tony felt completely at ease with. There was nothing better than working hard during the day and melting at the hands of the redheaded domme at night.  
Laughing, Tony shook his head at Pepper. He carefully leaned in to nip at the redhead’s neck before she pulled away with a look on her face.  
“Tony, I was serious.”  
“I know. I just wanted to let you know that no, Pep, there is no one hiding out here; everything is fine. In fact, everything is better than fine. The tower is on schedule, and I wanted you to know that’ll I’ll be heading out to place the arc reactor into position now. Is that all right with you, my lovely domme?”  
Tony gave Pepper what could only be described as a cheeky look while he walked towards the balcony of the tower’s topmost floor. Before Pepper could respond in turn, the machine’s arms had already started to work on putting the Iron Man suit onto Tony’s body.  
As she let out a resigned sigh, Pepper knew that once Tony wanted to do something nothing would stop the sub. So she determined to let what was going to happen take place. “Fine. Go out and get the reactor ready. Please, Tony, at least be careful. Remember what happened the last time. We really don’t need another one of your tabloid covers. So please, Tony, be careful.”  
Tony smiled and slowly nodded to Pepper. “Yes, Mother, I’ll be careful. You really didn’t need to say it twice, you know. I heard you the first time.”  
Pepper shook her head at Tony’s cheek. The sub before her really was too much no matter how much she cared for him. “Lord help me, Tony. I know you try, but you’re still you and that doesn’t always help your case. There and back, please. If you don’t do that I’ll have to bring out the collar and I know you don’t like when I do that. At least outside of the bedroom anyway.”  
Tony blushed as he took off after hearing Pepper’s parting words.  
Pepper really was a wonderful domme, not really stuck in one category of station. She was an equal balance of caring and correcting. When the SI board first heard about her taking over the company and then later about the engagement of Pepper and Tony, they couldn’t have been happier for the pair. They felt that Pepper would finally be the one to be able to balance the overly rambunctious sub out.  
But they were sadly wrong.  
It wasn’t that Pepper didn’t try and help balance out Tony. Oh she tried. But for some reason, she couldn’t really get through to Tony.  
Pepper didn’t even have the heart to tell Tony or the board that they couldn’t even create part of a bond. There was almost no connection between the two past the initial puppy love type of love. And while it didn’t seem to bother Tony, it did bother Pepper.  
Pepper wanted to feel the click that was often felt between two soul mates. She remembered telling her friends and family that the stories simply seemed like a fairy tale that young subs were told to keep them in line and pure; younger doms were told the tales so that they would grow up strong.  
After all, in this day and age, how many people wound up finding their one true mate?  
Pepper shook her head. She remembered when she was in school reading up about how many people had waited and found their mates. But back then, there seemed to be less people around compared to nowadays in New York.  
Then Pepper remembered reading even further about the war in Vietnam and how with all the horrors going on during it, people were scared for their would-be mates. People felt themselves being shattered. Part of their souls were dying, and it was unavoidable due to the horrors across the sea. It was because of this that people started to look for love for the now and not wait for their perfect mate – for the one.  
Pepper wasn’t sure if she could do that anymore.  
As Pepper looked out to the skyline, she let out a sigh and wondered what Tony’s true mate was like. Because she knew that the only reason someone wouldn’t be able to form a partial bond was if they were already bonded to someone.  
What Pepper really wanted to know is who Tony was bonded to and when it had happened. Because Pepper knew everything about the sub since the time that she had started to work for SI and a lot of what had happened to and around Tony before she met him. What she didn’t know was unknown, both to the public and those who were close to Tony.  
Most of what was known about Tony Stark’s past was public knowledge. Everyone knew about how the young sub had built his first engine before his tenth birthday; fewer had known about his building a circuit board when he was five, but that was just who he was.  
No, what really got Pepper was that Tony’s formative early years up until he was about five were relatively unknown. Neither she nor the board could account for what had happened during them.  
The press at the time hadn’t even known that Maria Stark was pregnant. It was like Tony had shown up one day out of the blue as a toddler and the world had fallen instantly in love with the child. There was clearly more to Tony than the family had let on. If one were to look at the old newsreels, a person would be able to see that Howard just seemed to stand that much closer to Tony than to Maria.  
Pepper had definitely noticed that. In addition, she had noted that it really wasn’t until Tony had turned about ten that Howard’s “drinking problem” had gotten out of control and into the eye of the media.  
Pepper let all of these thoughts pass through her mind as she got up and started to look over the plans for the tower herself and waited for Tony to return. Pepper Potts may not know about Tony or his family’s past, but she was determined to be there for his future.  
That was her promise to Tony, one that he would be able to count on.


	4. A note. A NOTE!??!?!?!?!?

Hey guys i just wanted to say sorry about the not updateing in a whilr. Its not that i haven't got idea's i have a few chapters ready. But it's been a while since i've contacted my beta. I think i lost her email. Also i've kinda lost myself a bit in the story so im working on it. Also ive started in on a new story. But its teen wolf so dont worrie aabiut this one. Its not totally forgotten.

In addition i appologise if the spelling is bad on this note im on my new tablet and there is no spell check on it for some reason


	5. Chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I had Chapter four edited and stuff. I need to check my mail to see if I have five and six edited so I can post them. As for everything else I need to honestly re-read what I have before I go on. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update all

Steve was found next to a long line of unhooked punching bags as he desperately beat into the one in front of him. He was determined to lose himself in the feeling of his hands cracking against the worn leather of the long sandbag. It helped him think and sort through the horrible memories that seemed to plague him day and night. Memories of his team, of Peggy, of his friends whom he had lost. 

Getting lost in the motions as he punched the bag, he allowed himself to forget about the monsters “in the closet”.

Often he wondered what had happened to them all after he had plunged into the ice. Steve had been granted the files of his team when he had moved into his new apartment. 

Out of all of the people he used to fight alongside with, only Dum Dum and Peggy were alive. Steve gave a small hollow laugh as he slumped into the sandbag before starting to punch it again. Dum Dum and Peggy. The two were always at odds, and for the life of him Steve couldn’t really remember why. It felt like the answer was always on the tip of his tongue just out of his reach. And yet the simplest way to find out what it was would be to call or visit one of them. 

Unfortunately, Steve couldn’t bring himself to do so just yet. 

Steve continued to beat into the poor bag as this time the memories of losing Bucky seemed to fill his mind. Bucky joking with him and laughing, taunting him as they streaked down to the train, him falling off the rail, slipping through Steve’s hand as it broke off, Steve telling Howard that his mate was dead. 

The sandbag broke free as Steve froze at the thought. Where had that come from?

Bucky hadn’t been mated, and Howard had been with a nice domme after the war. A blonde whom Steve could only assume was a nice dame. She had to be for Howard to have a kid with her.

Steve remembered him telling him about his perfect dom, what he would be like. Steve shook his head. Why was he thinking of Howard describing Bucky? They weren’t together; they were just too different. 

As he bent down to get ready a new sandbag to beat upon, Steve herd the telltale sound of military boots clicking on the floor of the building that he was in. He tensed a little until he heard Fury’s voice ringing through the room. He still was not particularly fond of the man.

“At ease, solider. It’s good to see you again, Captain. I hear you have been keeping busy these past few weeks.” Fury smiled at Steve as though he had something to hide. 

Reasoning it out, Steve figured that he probably did. Sighing, Steve walked towards Fury, gym bag in one hand and sandbag over the opposite shoulder. He stared down the eye-patched man silently.

“Sir.” He gave a curt nod, as one would probably expect of an army man from his time. “What can I do for you?”

That caused Fury to frown, even though he had come in to see the man and ask him for help. One of his operations had been attacked and a good man compromised. Fury could only frown as he thought about what Coulson was going through. 

Fury shifted into a more relaxed stance as he looked over at the super solider. “The world needs your help, Captain. I can’t say much at the moment, but here’s the file and I’ll have my man brief you on what is going on. You should probably go home and prep for the mission.” Fury could see the subtle falling of Steve’s face even if he wouldn’t admit it. There would be nothing that could really be done. Loki had come and caused one hell of a panic at their testing facility. He already had Natasha and Coulson out and getting others for the team. 

He was the one who had to convince Steve to join now, so he continued his speech with a frown. “A lot of good people lost their mates today. They could really use help in putting the man responsible for this in a position to pay for his actions. Will you help us?”

Steve shifted. He didn’t like the idea that someone would be doing that to people, mated or not. It was just wrong, and he knew that if he had a mate who had been in a place like Fury was trying to describe he would probably be out for blood – again proving to Steve how much of an overly territorial dom that he really was. 

After grabbing the files and tossing them into his duffel bag, Steve started to walk towards the exit of the old building. He didn’t even stop as he called out to Fury to tell his man to be at his apartment in two hours. He’d help but it’d be on his terms and he’d be damned if he didn’t use S.H.I.E.L.D. to find out what was going on with his fogged head. 

As the blond walked away Fury couldn’t help but admire him, even if he never would admit that in public…or to anyone actually. As he followed the man out after a few seconds, Fury had pulled out a phone and dialed another man who he knew would be on course with what he needed done.

Coulson picked up and listened to what Fury said about the Captain. After giving a curt affirmation, Coulson hung up and rode up the elevator. He watched as the numbers flashed at a moderate pace as he hummed silently to himself, discreetly wiping away a tear. 

He closed his eyes and let his mind drift over the slight haze that was starting to roll over his mind. It was good; better than the fog that he could have developed if Clint had been truly hurt or even worse if he had forgotten the bond that the two men had shared. At least that part was being kept with his mate. Maybe Loki had a heart…or he hadn’t even known to look for that in Clint’s mind. 

With one final thought of worry towards his husband, Coulson flipped open his phone to call Tony Stark about the upcoming debriefing. If Coulson was honest with himself, he really didn’t want to be there, but Clint would have called him on it. And frankly having his sub call him on anything was bad enough. If he had just had Clint wear his collar, it probably wouldn’t have done anything. 

Laughing lightly to himself as Tony tried to dissuade the agent from talking to him or coming into the tower, Coulson did just that. He was a man on a mission and the sooner that the briefing started the sooner he could get his mate back.

When he had walked into the penthouse, Tony gave Coulson a look that could only be briefly described as a tad bit constipated that easily slid into a seemingly natural charm. Of course, when Pepper started to berate the sub in front of him, Coulson held back a look of confusion. 

Tony simply nodded, apologized, and went on being Tony Stark as if his domme hadn’t just said a word. It was odd, seeing something like that happen. Had he said that to his own sub, Clint probably would have made some sort of indication of apology, if not fully break down had the pair been alone. There was next to nothing from these two. 

Softly noting the sadness in Pepper’s eyes, Coulson walked further into the room and tried to hand something to Tony, only to be rebuffed. Yet this wasn’t the first time that Tony had mentioned his dislike for being handed things. 

Coulson filed that in his mind for further inquiry as he sighed in the direction of Pepper, who started to talk to him and ask about a sub cellist that “he had been seeing” as they left Tony to do his homework for the day. Nodding towards the redhead, Coulson followed her to the elevator. Once the pair entered and the doors closed, the agent turned to the CEO.

“How do you do it? How can you be with Tony when you confided in me that it wasn’t possible to form a bond with the man? That there is no way for you to be truly bonded to him? Why do you stay with Tony? I have to say that he is a really infuriating man.”

Coulson frowned as he looked at the numbers slowly marking down to the lobby.

Pepper just shrugged, not that she couldn’t understand where he was coming from. A lot of people had asked her that question in her life. It really was hard for most people to truly understand what was going on for her. It was just more than the want of a sub by her side.

As Pepper looked over at Coulson, she smiled at him sadly. “It’s okay. Tony…Tony is really, really maddening. I know he is. It’s just…I don’t know. Phil, it’s more than the fact that he’s a sub and I’m a dom. I mean, I can’t even get any type of bond up and working. It’s killing me. All I want is to be with him. And…and it’s more than just wanting him, as a sub and what he can offer me as that. He’s already made me CEO of his company. Everything else he’s done….it’s overwhelming sometimes. But at the same time it’s comforting. To know that he’ll always be there for me. As a friend and a partner, I…I don’t think I can lose it. 

“Oh God, that must make me so pathetic. Do you even understand what I’m saying? Am I even saying anything right?” She groaned, looking over at the other dom, wondering if he even knew what she was trying to get at – the feeling of being lost and wanting to be with someone else; to not ever be alone again in her life, even though she may as well be doing so since Tony wasn’t hers and he had to already be taken. 

Coulson smiled at her and placed a hand on her shoulder as they exited the elevator on the ground floor. He know what she was going through. He had done the same thing at one time long before he had met his sub. Gently, he guided the redhead out of the elevator and towards his car, nodding thoughtfully. He also knew that she was strong and that she would be okay one day. 

He was sure of it. 

“It’ll be all right, Pepper. I promise you that it will be all right, no matter what. It’ll turn out for the best.”

**Author's Note:**

> so what did you guys think? let me know by leaving a comment and i look forward to hearing from you. hope you all like the story so far.


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